In Memory of Michael. And a Reflection of the last couple of weeks.

July 10th, 2009

Miss you Michael

Miss you Michael

It is hard to imagine, but a legend is gone.  I guess in every one’s special way they have a connection to Michael Jackson or one of his songs.  I was able to watch the memorial this week and it was nice.  This is what brings me back to my connection.  After watching the memorial on CNN, my favorite song came on which is PYT.  It was great.  I also went rollerskating and PYT also played again.  It was a really rad feeling. 

Micheal led an interesting life since he was a child and endured it with much scrutiny.  He tried to make the best out of what he could.  He was a genius,  he created the moonwalk, Thriller, and so much more.  He also seemed to cross boundaries for his music.  I think in part by Michael himself being a freak and a unique creature of God. He changed his appearance or the disease, but for what ever matter, doing these things made him one to be talked about.  I remember the interviews, the Neverland Ranch, the chimp and the trial. 

Whether or not, he was proven to be innocent.  I really liked that part in the memorial service, where the congress woman came out and spoke.  It really sad that there is still so much greed going on over Michael’s death.  I think most of all Michael wanted to be loved and appreciated.  I could only image what was going on throughout his head these last couple off weeks before his and death and on the day of. Was it an addiction to pain medication, was it his inner torment?  He seems pretty blessed to have some wonderful children and I hope they succeed and try to help make the world a better place. 

So Michael where ever you are, thank you for being a great entertainment and philanthropist.  I will never forget you.  You have touched so many people and changed the face of what music videos and filmmaking is today.  You were a great teacher.  Thank you for the countless time I sang in the car with you or dance at home while playing your music on my radio.  Or even when I did the Moonwalk and got up on my toes like you do.  You are a real experience and you will live on.

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I have been busy working.

June 3rd, 2009

So after last week hiatus, I have been getting back to pounding on my website.  I have a lot of work to do, to get the programming right and get all the script to work.  I also have to edit some video and do some animations.  I really want this part to be over, I am kinda tired of working on the site, but want to make sure something looks good as well as works good as well. 

It’s a lot of stuff.  So I was thinking today about doing the things that I like to do and not doing the things I don’t like to do.  I guess if we have a goal, we still work to finishing it.  It’s not a time to stop yet, but a time to keep on trekking through and at least finishing parts.  I always feel like I am doing everything all the time.  I wish I could just focus on one thing, but there are to many things to do.  It like I am running an operating my own studio that does everything.  I would like to get back to directing again.  I miss it and would like to work with actors that I love. 

Thant’s just what is on my mind today.

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Not Really Sure What to Do Anymore.

May 20th, 2009

So it’s around 5am this morning and my birthday is Thursday.  Wow I’m so excited.  Well not really.  I pretty much felt like I did last year and around this time and now I have less of a desire to keep moving forward.  Maybe I could just be in a rut or perhaps not, but I’m scared and not willing to try anymore to look for work.  Maybe I should seek some counseling or better yet just give up all together.  I’ve tried to stay positive, but I realize that I am who I am and nothing can change that.  No matter how hard I try or try to convince myself that things will work out in the end, I am starting to believe that the path that I have chosen is not in my destiny and I feel like a wandering soul.  I’ve always wanted to identify with something greater or a group/job and people whom share similar values, but no matter how hard I try, no one seems to want me.  It’s like I’m reliving my youth and I see the same patterns reoccurring. 

On a lighter side, I’m finishing up with my Project Management Class tonight.

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A new day and a new headache.

May 18th, 2009

I feel like I fell on my head today.  Maybe I just have too much stress.  So how do I make changes in my life that I feel take too long.  I guess what I mean is that it takes time to do things and there are a lot of things that I want to do and learn so I need to make a schedule for myself.  Not much more to say at all.  Checking out for the evening.  Good Night!

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So it’s May - Stay Positive

May 1st, 2009

I don’t have a picture to post today and I know I haven’t posted in a while.  So it’s another day and a new month and I am grateful I have a wonderful someone to take care of me through these hard times.  I still haven’t found any work yet and I need to stay positive.  I really don’t know what else to do.  I worked on my resume, maybe I should resend them out again.  I’m also having a hard time figuring out what I want to do for a career.  I just need to stick to my guns and do the things that I know how to do.  I have been working on my film again and hope that getting the website up soon will act as some catalyst for me.  No matter what anyone else says I need to keep trucking find a way or die trying.  

I also have been working out again and trying to be more healthy now that I have so much free time on my hands.  No excuses.  

I’m sensing some great things for this month, and they are only going to get better.

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