Miss you Michael

It is hard to imagine, but a legend is gone.  I guess in every one’s special way they have a connection to Michael Jackson or one of his songs.  I was able to watch the memorial this week and it was nice.  This is what brings me back to my connection.  After watching the memorial on CNN, my favorite song came on which is PYT.  It was great.  I also went rollerskating and PYT also played again.  It was a really rad feeling. 

Micheal led an interesting life since he was a child and endured it with much scrutiny.  He tried to make the best out of what he could.  He was a genius,  he created the moonwalk, Thriller, and so much more.  He also seemed to cross boundaries for his music.  I think in part by Michael himself being a freak and a unique creature of God. He changed his appearance or the disease, but for what ever matter, doing these things made him one to be talked about.  I remember the interviews, the Neverland Ranch, the chimp and the trial. 

Whether or not, he was proven to be innocent.  I really liked that part in the memorial service, where the congress woman came out and spoke.  It really sad that there is still so much greed going on over Michael’s death.  I think most of all Michael wanted to be loved and appreciated.  I could only image what was going on throughout his head these last couple off weeks before his and death and on the day of. Was it an addiction to pain medication, was it his inner torment?  He seems pretty blessed to have some wonderful children and I hope they succeed and try to help make the world a better place. 

So Michael where ever you are, thank you for being a great entertainment and philanthropist.  I will never forget you.  You have touched so many people and changed the face of what music videos and filmmaking is today.  You were a great teacher.  Thank you for the countless time I sang in the car with you or dance at home while playing your music on my radio.  Or even when I did the Moonwalk and got up on my toes like you do.  You are a real experience and you will live on.

So after last week hiatus, I have been getting back to pounding on my website.  I have a lot of work to do, to get the programming right and get all the script to work.  I also have to edit some video and do some animations.  I really want this part to be over, I am kinda tired of working on the site, but want to make sure something looks good as well as works good as well. 

It’s a lot of stuff.  So I was thinking today about doing the things that I like to do and not doing the things I don’t like to do.  I guess if we have a goal, we still work to finishing it.  It’s not a time to stop yet, but a time to keep on trekking through and at least finishing parts.  I always feel like I am doing everything all the time.  I wish I could just focus on one thing, but there are to many things to do.  It like I am running an operating my own studio that does everything.  I would like to get back to directing again.  I miss it and would like to work with actors that I love. 

Thant’s just what is on my mind today.

I don’t have a picture to post today and I know I haven’t posted in a while.  So it’s another day and a new month and I am grateful I have a wonderful someone to take care of me through these hard times.  I still haven’t found any work yet and I need to stay positive.  I really don’t know what else to do.  I worked on my resume, maybe I should resend them out again.  I’m also having a hard time figuring out what I want to do for a career.  I just need to stick to my guns and do the things that I know how to do.  I have been working on my film again and hope that getting the website up soon will act as some catalyst for me.  No matter what anyone else says I need to keep trucking find a way or die trying.  

I also have been working out again and trying to be more healthy now that I have so much free time on my hands.  No excuses.  

I’m sensing some great things for this month, and they are only going to get better.

So another day passes..  I keep listening to the news and see an all time high in unemployment rates and find myself as one of those numbers.  Although this fact, I have been busy.  I had an awesome opportunity to produce, direct and edit a music video for an up and coming artist.  I’m now in the editing phase and the rough cut is done.  I hope to get some good notes back and more forward in the visual effects of the video.  Yeah Fun! 

I really learned a lot about working with people on this project and I am also learning a lot about myself as the times passes that I do not have a full-time job.  Taking on a lot of responsibility is a big job and I seem to try to do everything and maybe that may not be the right thing for me in the future.  I am still pondering the question but I do have the drive and desire to succeed. 

I am also really missing working in my field of motion capture and keep looking for a job to keep me on that path.  I’ve had great opportunities in the past, but now I need to keep my strength up and use this to manifest a job in the near future. 

So what did I do and what am I good at? 

I worked as a motion tracker and did other tasks of sorts in the motion capture field.  I am competent of my work and know I can do a great job if given the opportunity.  That is pretty much the bottom line.  At this time, it doesn’t seem to be a good choice to make a change in my field, but to rather follow the path of where I was going.  I really would love to work in the capacity of a production coordinator on a motion capture film, but I need to have some more proven experience, or perhaps someone who will believe in me.  I loved working at the last job I was at more than anything, but really regret that I never had an opportunity to do the job I was initially hired for and yes that really bums me out, but I met some awesome people along the way.  I wonder if this was Karma or just my own doing?

In another hand there is the opportunity for me to start my own small production company in the Orange County area and provide video and web assistance to small business owners, but this too is a very hard thing to do.  I have to develop a business plan for starters and on top of that, I need to market myself and learn how much to really charge for my services and how to write up contracts that are specific.  Without a mentor in the production field, I feel I am having a tough time, but tough times are needed in order for people to learn lessons about their own lives and the lives of others.  That goodness that I have the OCIWE to help me through the necessary phases.

On another hand, I really want to work more on my social skills and become a better entrepreneur and employee.  People can really make judgement calls based on petty things and I am really looking to work with a group of people who are supportive and dedicated.  Pretty much sometimes I feel like an outsider and need to have the confidence to make it through the day.  Confidence is key to success.

I would also like to say that I am really grateful for having good friends and family in my life. My friend Manny and boyfriend Corey have been really supportive in my time of need, as well as my mother and father.  I have been feeling a little anxious lately but really think that is because I am not working.  I went to the Crystal Cathedral today with my friend to pray.  I pretty much asked God for a sign of some sorts to provide me security of which is the right path in my life and what I need to do to stay on the path.  As I heard a guru once say “There are many paths you can take, but if you take the wrong one, you have to go back and travel even more to reach your eventual destination.”  Whether or not that may be true, I have to really keep my intuitive sense open and be ready for any challenges that may face ahead in the future.  Like I said I am grateful to have others help me in my life, but I would rather be independent and secure with myself.

So no matter where you may be these days, be thankful and gracious and look towards a better future and utilize the present as much as you can.  The present is all we have, we can’t change the past and no one really knows what’s in store for us in the future.

Jobs, Jobs, and Jobs??? Where are they?  I think to myself, have I been looking hard enough?  What is going to happen to me and was my education really all worth what it was, or still is? 

So as for the job front, I guess the best thing to do everyday is to keep looking, most importantly and try not to lose hope in finding something.  Think of a pond and there are a lot of rocks in it. As a metaphor some rocks will be craigslist, others will be Monster.com, others will be all the major web sites to look for industry specific work.  There are usually the larger rocks in the pond or better yet, even a little stream, although it is a stream is seems to be trickling slowly.  Now there are many rocks in the stream but they are so small that you pass them up as you ride the stream, or better yet you find yourself not even thinking of them cause they are to small.

Most business at this time do not advertise that they are hiring or potentially may be hiring.  The best thing that you can do, is to find these companies.  Go figure, these companies also depend on others to finace their paychecks or are listed in magazine articles.  The best place to look for business is to look in a directory like the yellow pages.  Go through the book and look up all the services that the company may offer that you might want to work at.  Go to special industry directories and locate the companies phone number and website information. 

Next, go to the website and look it over.  If you like what you see, you can either submit a resume over the Internet or even better yet call the company and inquire if they are hiring.  Don’t be shy get a contact name and email address.  Make sure you have a resume to send off immediately in order to remain in the potential employers mind. 

Some suggestions if you have a website, I suggest getting a free program called Google Analytics.  This program will track who is visiting your website to see if the calls you made and emails that you sent paid off.  It also gives you other valuable information.  A website, helps as a way for an employer to become better acquainted with you quickly. 

So let’s go back to the pond/stream example.  If you turn over many stones/pebbles you are bound to find something.  Just keep up your will power and determination.  Be willing to take a job, if it is even not the job you want at this time.  We are in an employers market and they now can pick and choose which types of fish they want and they can be picking cause there are so many fish to choose from. 

A couple weeks ago, I had a great meeting with an employment coach online, who looked at my resume and offered advice free of charge.  These opportunities are out there, you just have to search and find them. 

Even though times may seem tough, if there is a will there is a way.  Remember the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park!